Reviews (12)

Must reading, especially for addicts
This book certainly protrays the difficulties and impact on children haunted by covert incest.At 55 yrs. old, my life could have been soooo... much better if I had been diagnosed previously.Thanks very much to my therapist (3rd one I worked with) for identifying this issue for me.Amazon's search engine recommended this book immediately and I devoured its message.The 5th chapter will be presented at our area's Spring Retreat of S.A.A. this April.This book should be a must!!

a clear guideline
Wow, very impressive! I read it from cover to cover, in one sitting. Just could not put it down. It is written in a clear and concise manner. Almost every word seems well selected and carefully considered to support the theme of the whole book. Very convincing with powerful logic.
This book changed the way I look at my parents
I've been recovery for years but I did not realize how my relationship with my mother distorted my perception of my father and our family. This book has changed the way I relate to them both. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Abuse - General    2. Adult Children of Alcoholics    3. Adult child sexual abuse victi    4. Adult child sexual abuse victims    5. Incest victims    6. Parenting - General    7. Psychology    8. Recovery    9. Self-Help    10. Child care & upbringing    11. Self-Help / Adult Children of Substance Abusers    12. Sexual behaviour   

Reviews (15)

Not quite what I thought it would be
The title of this book is misleading.Only about 10% of the book is targeted toward partners of incest survivors and not childhood sexual abuse survivors in general, and it isn't a very long book.A lot of the issues I thought a book for partners of incest survivors in specific would discuss weren't addressed or only grazed on.I didn't feel like it had a lot of sound and non-obvious advice for helping my partner deal with some of his more complicated emotions or my own feelings in regards to his abuse.I felt like a lot of the book was just repeatedly saying, "Be careful, don't be co-dependant!You're probably co-dependant if you were attracted to a victim of sexual abuse!In fact you probably were abused yourself!Reading books alone won't help you, get into a 12 steps program or see a therapist!" as far as your own emotions went and as far as helping your partner it could be summed up as, "Don't be needlessly harsh, cruel, and insensitive!"Aside from that the focus seemed narrowly set on survivors who were traumatically abused by parents.The only mention of sibling-sibling abuse seemed to write it off as more likely than not harmless if the children were in a similar age range, downplaying the potential for damage if the abuser is only a few years older and things were fairly consensually even if the younger sibling was being robbed of a well-paced sexual development.Other issues only briefly mentioned were the complex emotions partners might have to face when interacting with the involved family member(s) once they've obtained knowledge of the abuse and seeing their partner continue to remain close with their abusers, survivors still having unwanted lingering attractions to their abusers, and the emotions of survivors who never repressed the memory and felt abandoned when they got old enough that abuse ceased.Overall I would have to say the book didn't help me very much, I wouldn't really recommend it unless I knew a person was having trouble understanding the facts and misdirecting their anger about the events on their partner instead of their partner's abuser.

Not the best book to start with......
I think anyone considering this as a starting point is way off.I am a partner of a survivor. There are three books which I have read at this point. "What about me" and "Allies in healing". I feel that these latter two were the books which I gained the most from.
Fantastic
This is a fantastic book for couples where one has been through abuse. I rate this book very high. Easy to read and to understand. Excellent resource.Read more

Subjects:  1. Abuse - General    2. Adult child sexual abuse victi    3. Adult child sexual abuse victims    4. Family relationships    5. Incest victims    6. Psychology    7. Psychotherapy    8. Recovery    9. Self-Help    10. Coping with personal problems    11. Family & Relationships / Abuse   

Reviews (1)

This is an excellent, easy to read, very helpful book.
The Wellness Recovery Action Plan teaches people with psychiatric symptoms step by step how to make a plan to manage their symptoms, from daily maintenance activities, through early signs of trouble, to signs thatthings are breaking down, to making a crisis plan for a time when they mayneed the help of other people to temporarily make decisions in their lives. This process is appropriate for people with any kind of symptoms, or forpeople dealing with stress or life crises. The format is simple andclear, and there are lots of suggestions to help the reader with theirplan. There also short sections in the book about journaling, peercounseling, building a support system, relaxation, diet, exercise and othertools that they can use with the W.R.A.PI have made my own W.R.A.P. and use it in my life to help memanage my symptoms.I also teach it to other people in Recovery Educationclasses based on the model developed by Mary Ellen, where it is verysuccessful. You can't go wrong with this book! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Recovery   

Reviews (8)

my opinioin of Breaking free.
Plenty of room to write responses.
This is a great tool if you want to get free !
This workbook, to be used in conjunction with "Facing Codependency" is a fantastic tool in breaking the heavy denial that comes with codependency, taking a clear objective look at where the codependent beliefs came from (without blaming others), seeing the true impact of this disease on our lives and based on that information helps us to decide for ourselves clearly what steps to take to work towards true freedom and recovery.I appreciate that both these books encourage self-responsibility and does not just present the (yes, depressing at times) negative aspects of this devastating disease but the HOPE of what "freedom" looks like and very specifically as we work through the book what health and freedom will look like for us!Happy recovery!

Hard but Neccessary
This book takes the premise that it will root out and rid you of your denial.I am sure that is helpful, but it is very painful.I got this book because I was feeling overwhelmed with realizing how bad things had gotten in my life and was looking for help.I am more depressed than ever.This is not the place to go for hope.But, I think it is probably true that when you have stalled in your recovery or have reverted without realizing it, that it is because you have fallen into denial.And she is trying to lessen that.Probably overall key to recovery, but very difficult in the moment.I am sure that it is a neccessary piece of recovery to be balanced against other more hopeful tools. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Co-dependence (Psychology)    2. Codependency    3. Codependents    4. General    5. Neurology - General    6. Psychology    7. Recovery    8. Rehabilitation    9. Self-care, Health    10. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    11. Self-Help & Practical Interests    12. Self-Help / Codependency   

Reviews (16)

A Remarkable Wonderful Tool
I have tried to be a careful student of the Big Book for many years.It is the most important book in my life.This volume is an invaluable tool for studying the Big Book.It's comments are clear, insightful, and helpful.It is clearly the product of years of study.The author keeps the comments brief, accurate and writes withstyle of deep humility that comes from practicing this program over time.
Can not recommend.
I found the editing of this edition to be amateurish and poorly done (for instance, the last 30 or so pages are repeated). THIS BOOK IS WORTH BUYING
The Annotated AA Handbook explains the directions for working the 12 steps using the first edition Big Book text and stories. There is a massive amount of commentary explaining almost every sentence of the Big Book. The annotations illustrate how the principles of AA apply to our lives and how we can live the program. I am amazed at the amount of study and understanding that writing this book must have required. The cross refs really enable us to more fully understand the AA program. There are tables included that show what the Big Book has to say about topics such as: Reasons to Believe; Medical Opinions of Alcoholism, Attitudes that Hinder our Progress; Directions for making a Beginning. Chapter 5 includes GREAT tables for doing our fourth steps. The index is amazing in itself -- the best I have ever seen, and way better than a concordance. Every chapter has an introduction and section showing an outline of concepts presented that I found especially helpful. I recommend this book to everyone who is interested in the 12 steps, AA history, the writers of the first edition stories, and especially those who want to recover from alcoholism. Buy this book! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. General    2. Reference    3. Self-Help / Alcoholism    4. Self-Help / Recovery    5. Alcoholics    6. Alcoholics Anonymous    7. Alcoholism    8. Handbooks, manuals, etc    9. Recovery    10. Reference / General    11. Rehabilitation    12. Self-Help    13. Twelve-Step Programs   

Editorial Review

Bestselling author Hugh Prather has a knack for putting his finger onthe pulse of America's emotional and spiritual angst. In Read more

Reviews (24)

Make Your State of Mind More Important Than What You Are Doing
Or, are you allowing your ego to get in your way of be connected?
Generic Psycho-Spiritual Babble
Blends Freudian psychology with pop Buddhism using vague language and empty metaphors to create an impractical guide devoid of meaning or depth.

Practical ways to find peace in your life.
The Little Book of Letting Go by Hugo Prather is a practical book about how to get peace and perspective in your life. It is very practical. Although written by a Christian, it is not preachy or overbearing. Atheists and agnostics would find it helpful too. If you feel you have fear, anxiety, worry, anger, or simply want to be able to stop spinning your wheels so much, this is the book for you. Lots of very specific examples and practical exercises that will allow you to get more in touch with yourself. It can help you to strip away the superficial so you can get down to what's significant for you. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Body, Mind & Spirit    2. Careers - General    3. Inspiration & Personal Growth    4. Peace of mind    5. Personal Growth - General    6. Problems, exercises, etc    7. Psychology    8. Recovery    9. Mind, body, spirit: mysticism & self-awareness    10. Spirituality   

Reviews (10)

One of the Best on This Subject
I've given out many copies of this book over the years.It's been the source of profound insight for people coming out of dysfunctional family systems.The first part of the book on "Discovery" seems especially helpful, some of the tecniques in the last "Recovery" part of the book will help some but not all.A "one size fits all" approach will have it's limitations, but this book has been the most useful in shedding light on this pervasive problrem so many have to deal with.

A therapist's viewpoint
I refer to this book constantly.First read it in 1987.It provides and excellent tool for educating clients from alcoholic/dysfunctional families.The chapter on chronic shock is particularly enlightening.ACOAs reading it usually have an "aha" experience that leads to understanding and goes a long way toward problem resolution and new coping techniques.

Key to a mystery
This book solved a painful problem for me. It helped me first to see beyond my abstinent parents to my grandparents' alcohol problems. Next it suggested that my father could leave the alcohol, but bring an intense behavior pattern from that context.Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Recovery    3. Self-Help    4. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    5. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Drug Dependence    6. Self-Help / Adult Children of Substance Abusers   

Subjects:  1. Adult children of dysfunctional families    2. Dysfunctional Families    3. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    4. Interpersonal Relations    5. Marriage    6. Psychological aspects    7. Psychology    8. Recovery    9. Psychology & Psychiatry / General   

Reviews (2)

The Self-Sabotage Syndrome
From the moment I started to read this book, I was 'smacked in the face' by the relevence of this book in my life at this "exact juncture" !. PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO WORK-RELATED PROBLEMS
If you have been losing jobs despite working "very hard", and you are an ACoA, this is the book that will finally answer the big questionof "why! "ACoA's, as explained succinctly yet in detail byWoititz, have ingrained patterns of behavior that result in problems on thejob.We can identify these patterns, come to understand where they camefrom, and finally, do something to change them! This book gave me far moreinsight than years of counseling - Woititz truly knows the ACoA! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Alcoholism    3. Alcoholism and employment    4. Employment    5. Industrial Social Work    6. Psychology    7. Recovery    8. Self-Help    9. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    10. Anthropology    11. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    12. Popular psychology    13. Self-Help / Adult Children of Substance Abusers   

Reviews (1)

A captivating and insightful read
This an insightful book, a true story and a quick study about both Buddhism and AA.Recommended for anyone interested in AA and a solution to alcoholism from a spiritual standpoint.A very heartfelt and well written book... ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alcoholics    2. Buddhism    3. Recovery    4. Religious aspects    5. Religious life    6. Self-Help    7. Twelve-Step Programs    8. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    9. Self-Help / Twelve-Step Programs   

Reviews (9)

Medicine for the sick
Wow. Reading this book was like discovering the world isn't flat, after all.If you love an alcoholic and have been afraid to change because you're afraid you'll lose the one you love, PLEASE read this book. Your life is waiting for you!!

I never thought a book could help me so much
If you've ever been in a relationship or marriage where you live with an alcoholic, you know that denial, saying it isn't that bad, making excuses for bad behavior and anything else you can think of that will not have to make you face reality all becomes a part of your behavior.After living with my alcoholic husband for ten years, this book gave me the courage to love myself and care about myself enough to start thinking of ME.I left my husband and his problem and it was the best thing that ever happened to both of us.It has been very painful, but it has brought a lot of honesty and relief.He joined AA and is in recovery.I don't know if I would have ever had the nerve to take a step for myself without the honest and forthright information this book has to offer.I keep it by my bedside and reread it whenever I need a lift or reassurance.Thank you, Toby, for every chapter, especialy Chapter 33, "Don't Say You're Changing - Just Do It".I recommend this book to anyone in an alcoholic relationship.Like the book says, the decision to stay or not is yours and there are no guarantees either way, but loving yourself FIRST is the best thing you can do for yourself and the ones you love.

This book saved my life.
How unique every situation is. Yet how amazingly SIMILAR. Read more

Subjects:  1. Recovery    2. Self-Help    3. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism   

Subjects:  1. 1950-    2. Civilization, Modern    3. General    4. Modern - 20th Century    5. New Age / Parapsychology    6. Recovery    7. Thought and thinking   

Reviews (6)

No Axe To Grind
Clear readable practical education and guidance on dealing with your or your loved one's addiction.Covers all the most important treatment approaches without moralizing and helps you choose what is most helpful or appropriate to your situation. I have already recommended to two patients who both found it tremendously helpful.

Forget the title-This is a really smart book!
The title of this series always turns me off--so formulaic and usually simplistic. But this book is different! The format is simple and the material is presented in the clear, crisp and easily readable style typical of this series but this book is also truly wise, practical and compassionate in its approach. There is up-to-date information on medications, the physiology of addiction, treatments and groups that can offer support to the addicted person and plenty of practical advice for those on the sidelines (family, friends, spouses) who want to help but don't understand the problem. The book makes practical suggestions for treatments/groups that can help, how to deal with relapse cravings and moving forward in life without relying on an ultimately self-destructive habit. I have 30 years of experience as a therapist and this is one of the few selp-help books that I respect. I plan to give it to my clients and to recommend it to colleagues. Buy it---you won't be disappointed!

The best book I've read on addiction--really helpful!
I can't recommend this book too highly. I have been working in this field for years and have searched for a book that would not turn off people struggling to come to terms with addictive problems. This book is easy to read, concise and presented in a manner that invites the reader to stay with the material. In addition to giving great information on the biology of addiction, it is full of excellent suggestions on how to practically go about attacking the problem. And it is optomistic! So important when someone feels overwhelmed by the problem and has struggled, often unsuccessfully, to change behaviors that are self-defeating. I would also advise relatives and friends of addictive persons to use this book to help them cope better with this issue and to find hope. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alcoholism (Psychiatric Aspects)    2. Drug Addiction (Psychiatric Aspects)    3. Psychopathology - Addiction    4. Recovery    5. Self-Help    6. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    7. Coping with drug & alcohol abuse    8. Self-Help / Substance Abuse   

Subjects:  1. Neurology - General    2. Coping with drug & alcohol abuse    3. Recovery    4. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    5. Self-Help   

Reviews (4)

Thank you
I don't know if you will read this Helen, but thank you for writing your story. I remember you well although I was only a teenager living behind you in Lakeview Hills. I hope that it doesn't hurt so much, having the whole story told and emotionally coming full circle. I have been on my own quest for wholeness and in my search I stumbled upon this...and in the mystery of life the passing along of your book to my mother had a very odd surreal feeling to it...and I hope she gets as much from it as I did. I fully and truly know of coming home to the siren's song.

an undiscovered gem in social literature
I have seen this title often but there are so many books about childhood incest, that I made the mistake of failing to look closer. The writing style of Helen Bonner is insightful, yet slightly detached as she tells of recovered memories surfacing as she taught literature as a college professor. Bonner veils her painful recollections withinthe stories of literature and her world as a professor, becoming angered at the mores of the past and present social structure that can allow a woman's worth to go unnoticed...then as the story unfolds like a mystery, Bonner addresses the real dragons in her life, the painful truth about her incestuous past and her recovery. The tone of the book is intellectual, mentally stimulating and emotionally engaging.
A Story of Incredible Hope
When I began reading this book it was very hard to put down.Helen Bonner is an amazing woman, and I found the story of her life to be compelling.She shines for all of us who have survived sexual abuse."The laid daughter" is an important personal testimonial.It serves as a record of what many girls face while growing up, what women face when seeking help for incest, and also marks our progress as a society that hopefully will become more and more aware to incest and the effects of trauma.Helen has shown great strength and courage.Her book is helping and will continue to help many survivors of incest.Read more

Subjects:  1. Abuse - General    2. General    3. Recovery    4. Self-Help / Recovery    5. Social Science / Women's Studies    6. Adult child abuse victims    7. Autobiographical fiction, American    8. Child abuse    9. Fiction    10. Incest    11. Psychic trauma    12. Women's Studies   

Reviews (4)

Encouraging and Full of Insight
This book is not only a wonderful resource for sufferers of anorexia.But it is also a resource for thier family and friends.The book explains anorexia, tells Monika Ostroff's personal story, and has a special chapter for family and loved ones.Everyone who suffers from anorexia or has a spouse, family member, or friend with anorexia, should read this book.

Gentle, reassuring and helpful
Reading this book evokes the feeling of talking to a concerned and supportive friend about anorexia.The authors don't throw out harsh statistics or Freudian theories, and there are no disturbingly graphicdepictions of binging or purging.Instead, the reader is treated withaffection and respect.It is assumed that anorexia develops as a method ofcoping, and the reader receives suggestions for new ways to deal withfeelings.This book gives the reader a feeling of hope and self-reliance,and avoids shaming language.The authors give helpful, practical methodsof overcoming anorexia and learning to love oneself.

This book cradels you. It makes you feel good and not guilty
I have had anorexia for 11 years. I am now 24 and am in treatment. Hall and Ostroff's book helped me to understand that I was not alone, and that I was in charge. Most importantly, and the most difficult issue to deal withis that anorexia teaches you things about yourself. I strongly recommendthis book to someone who does not know where to start. No, once you readit, you will not be cured but at least you will have explored what you aremost afraid of--letting go of the control and the selfdestructive copingstrategies. I read the book within the first week of group therapy and camethe next week with photocopies of certain sections that were very helpfulfor the rest of the members. This book helps you want to get rid of theanorexic thoughts. You will be much happier while on the road of recovery.Letting go of the obsessive thoughts that come with anorexia was the bestthing I have ever done. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Anorexia nervosa    2. Eating Disorders - General    3. Pathological Psychology    4. Popular works    5. Psychopathology - Eating Disorders    6. Recovery    7. Self-Help    8. Coping with eating disorders    9. Psychotherapy   

Reviews (2)

Insightful, cutting edge help for those with family problems
This book provides practical real-world direction for dealing with painful, frustrating situations involving substance using family members.I would recommend this book to anyone who has a family member who won't get help for their addiction.It is easy to read and gives clear direction for real world problems.

A brave new approach
For anyone who has struggled with the helplessness and the pain of loving an alcoholic, this is the book for you. Meyers and Wolfe lay out a definitive and realistic plan of ACTION. Finally someone has the courage to say "You CAN help your loved ones." This unique approach has the potential to give new hope to so many. Thank you to these authors. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alcoholics    2. Change (Psychology)    3. Codependency    4. Family relationships    5. Recovery    6. Rehabilitation    7. Self-Help    8. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    9. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    10. Self-Help / Substance Abuse   

Reviews (8)

More than a recovery book
This book uses Buddhist philosophy integrated with Western science to help readers discover and define meaning and purpose in life. It's not only a book about overcoming addiction, but can help anyone to find a more fulfilling way of life.

A flexible, integrated approach to overcoming addiction...
Mindful recovery is a book that focuses on maintaining your abstinence from any addiction, once you have made the decision to quit: "...if you can build a happy, fulfilling, meaningful life, relapse will be much less of an issue." It's a flexible approach to recovery based on facing life with an attitude of acceptance, rather than running away from life through an addiction. Good alternative to AA and to non-chemical addictions
I had been searching unsuccessfully for a book that dealt with computer games addiction. A friend suggested that the 12-Step program could help with all kinds of addictions, but I was just not comfortable with the whole religious aspect of that model. Read more

Subjects:  1. Meditation    2. Recovery    3. Religious aspects    4. Self-Help    5. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    6. Substance abuse    7. Treatment    8. Coping with drug & alcohol abuse    9. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    10. Self-Help / Substance Abuse   

Reviews (1)

A beginners guide to the 12 steps
This book is a must have for any beginning 12-stepper. It gives an excellent introduction to the understanding of how the 12 steps work and the spiritual principles behind them. This book would be an excellentchoice for any person in recovery, as well as a resource for any personthat is not in recovery, but wishes to have an understanding of the 12steps. It is clear, easy to understand, and complements Gorski's otherbooks very well. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alcoholics    2. Alcoholism    3. General    4. Psychopathology - Addiction    5. Recovery    6. Rehabilitation    7. Self-Help    8. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    9. Treatment    10. Twelve-step programs    11. Popular medicine    12. Self-Help / Twelve-Step Programs   

Reviews (4)

Problem Drinker or Alcoholic?It Doesn't Matter!
I don't know if I was a problem drinker or alcoholic.I don't care - I'm not into labels.But I do know I wanted to drink less and become less dependent on alcohol.And 7 Weeks helped me.One message in the book is you've got to take responsibility for your drinking instead of chalking it up to genes or a bad childhood or whatever.Another message is you can change if you want to.And Cornett gives concrete tips to cut down.
Drink/Link is not recommended for the alcoholic
This book is not written for those of us that have been overindulging for years.It is written for the folk that are on the verge of becomming an alcoholic.
A Winner for Anyone Questioning Their Drinking
This book has been a lifesaver for me. For years I enjoyed social drinking without problems, but the last couple of years I've questioned if I was drinking too much. This program showed me how to pace my drinking, how to make a drinking plan in advance before I started drinking(which really worked)and how to stick to my limit fairly easily. It also made alcohol less important to me - a huge step in the right direction to get back on the healthy social drinking path again. I recommend this book to anyone questioning their drinking. It's a straightforward approach to drink less and drink appropriately. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alternative Therapies    2. Recovery    3. Self-Help    4. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    5. Acupuncture    6. Coping with drug & alcohol abuse    7. Alcoholism    8. Prevention    9. Drinking of alcoholic beverages    10. Psychological aspects    11. Health & Fitness - General    12. Moderation