Reviews (11)

A Beacon in the Fog
Bonnie Buxton's book, Damaged Angels, will ring true to anyone who has lived the life of dealing with a child who looks normal, but has "disconnects" in their life.After adopting "a visible child with an invisible disability" I valued reading about Bonnie's experiences with her daughter,Collette.Her up-to-date overview of the most current research on FASD was helpful in my journey with my daughter.I appreciated her openness and vulnerability in describing her mothering experiences.
The perfect mix of fact and real-life example
Bonnie Buxton does an amazing job in this book of thoroughly explaining the damage that prenatal alcohol exposure does to an unborn child's brain and how that plays out in real-life examples, without painting a picture that is dark and hopeless.We get to see these real families working hard to make good lives for their children, feel their struggles, grieve in their failures and celebrate in their successes.This is a beautiful book full of life and hope.

Finally, some answers.
This is an excellent resource for parents of FAE/FAS children, adopted or by birth.If you have a child who doesn't understand cause and effect, looks normal, but acts years younger than his or her age, this is the book for you. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Adult Children Of Alcoholics    3. Child Care/Parenting    4. Child Development    5. Clinical Psychology    6. Family & Relationships    7. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    8. Family And Child Development    9. Parenting - General   

Reviews (3)

Still the best search book around!
I used this book when I searched for my son in 1989 and was struck by not only how thorough Mary Jo is in sharing ideas, techniques and sample letters and forms; but also the emotional part of the search journey. It is crucial to go into these searches with our eyes wide open and understand all possible issues the person we seek might have, as well as our own feelings. We also have a responsibility to be discrete and sensitive when we search for our lost parents or children.
The Best Search Book
As the former leader of an emotional support group, this is the book I recommended for people to use in conducting a search.Mary Jo has been involved in adoption searches long enough that she knows how to overcomethe many difficulties.Some searches today go very fast, but this bookwill also help those people who are having a harder time at completingtheir search.Mary Jo understand the emotions of searching because she isone of "us." Searcher's Bible
This book was a godsend! Wanted to find my family and didn't know where to start. This book did the trick. It took me through the process of gathering documents and information step-by-step. Now I'm going to buy The ReunionBook. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Adult Children of Alcoholics    3. Family / Parenting / Childbirth   

Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Alternate Spirituality    3. Body, Mind & Spirit    4. New Age    5. New Age (Self Help)    6. New Thought    7. Spirituality - General    8. Body, Mind & Spirit / New Thought    9. Body, Mind & Spirit-Spirituality - General    10. Self-New Age (Self Help)   

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Alcoholics    3. Alcoholism (Psychiatric Aspects)    4. General    5. Parent and child    6. Problem families    7. Psychology    8. Recovery    9. Rehabilitation Therapy    10. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    11. United States   

Reviews (8)

A good story
Well, I find this book interesting and that is about it. It does not really help me in any way because it does not give any clue as how to do that. It is simply not deep enough and leaves to many unanswered questions.It is a good start for newcomers to recovery though.

excllent book
this book is an excellent read. it tells the truth about finding and feeling your feelings. it has helped me very very much. i recommend this book to any one who has been raised in a dysfunctional family and is tired of pretending.i also recommend it to anyone who just wants to have a betterunderstanding of themself. the author does not hesitate to tell the truthabout his personal experiences which hepled me tremendously.

honesty
I was impressed at the self-honesty/evalution. Helped me to look at my own life. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Biography & Autobiography    3. Biography/Autobiography    4. General    5. Recovery   

Reviews (14)

A winner.A tender, gritty, moving story of real life.
The Color of LoveGene CheekThe Lyons Press (2006) ISBN 9781592288984 Reviewed by Marcelline `Marcy' Burns for Reader Views (10/06) This is the story of a boy's experience of wondrous love and awful pain.It is written with honesty, and it will be a rare reader who does not cringe in face of the terrible things that adults did to an innocent young boy. As the boy's father fell into a life of alcoholism, he was not simply absent as a husband and father. He abused and terrorized and ultimately provoked the years- long separation of mother and son. Those of us who lived in the South when Jim Crow ruled are shamed, as we should be, by this account of ugly racism. Mr. Cheek is a father and grandfather writing from his memory of the people and events of his childhood and youth. Occasionally, the reader may wonder if a boy could have been so perceptive and articulate as he recalls.Perhaps.It is possible, although it seems likely that the account has been colored to some extent by his adult eyes. In the preface, he himself acknowledges that the exact content of long ago conversations cannot be remembered, and as it turns out, it doesn't matter. He says, and the reader will believe, that he has remained true to the people about whom he writes. The boy, Gene, was deeply devoted to his Mother Sallie and to his Grandmother Anderson. He accepted, respected and, I believe, loved Mr. Tucker (Tuck) who is portrayed as a good man. Sadly, being a good man was not enough in that place and in that time. Many Southerners then labeled all Negroes with an intentionally pejorative "nigger", and some acted out their hatreds as members of the Ku Klux Klan. Neighbors, as well as the Cheek family, self-righteously persecuted Sallie and Tuck because they dared to love each other. In a custody hearing, hate-inspired courtroom testimony led to Gene's being exiled from his family. This author writes well. Without reservation I recommend his book to any reader. In particular, I recommend it to those readers who are committed to social justice and who care about the welfare of children. If you are so young that you know about Selma, Martin Luther King, and the Civil Rights Movement only as history, read "The Color of Love."And, for those who may still harbor some vestige of racism within their hearts, please read this book.

A compelling story,beautifully written
I also was introduced to this wonderful book when I heard the author on NPR's This American Life.I sat in my car in aparking lot, hanging on to every word. When the soft, gentle voice of Gene Cheek had finished telling part of his amazing story, I sat there and wept. I ordered the book the minute I got home.
Brutality and Bravery
I bought this book to learn a little North Carolina history. It gave me so much more. By the time I finished reading the book the first time through, I felt like something deep in my own heart had gone through a profound healing. Gene Cheek writes eloquently and honestly about growing up in an alcoholic's home, losing his home life to racism, and living to tell the story. The book shows one young man transforming injured innocence into his own kind of wisdom.
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Subjects:  1. 1930-1995    2. 1951-    3. Adult children of alcoholics    4. Adult children of divorced par    5. Adult children of divorced parents    6. Anderson, Sallie Adillian,    7. Biography    8. Biography & Autobiography    9. Biography / Autobiography    10. Biography/Autobiography    11. Cheek, Gene,    12. Childhood Memoir    13. Discrimination & Racism    14. Ethnic Cultures - General    15. General    16. Miscegenation    17. North Carolina    18. Biography & Autobiography / General   

Reviews (1)

A rare memoir that is not self-indulgent or self-pitying
So many memoirs by survivors of extremely disfunctional families are simply impossible to read because of the author's overwhelming desire to wallow in self-pity. This memoir is insightful and clear, hiding nothing, but the tone is never pitiful. This would be a great book to use in a classroom learning about memoir, and also a good book for therapists to use with patients learning how to deal with their own "bad deals" as children. I usually read a book and pass it along to my mother and sister; but I'm keeping this one and buying separate copies for each of them. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Adult children of dysfunctional families    3. Alabama    4. Biography    5. Biography / Autobiography    6. Biography/Autobiography    7. Children of the mentally ill    8. Clinical Psychology    9. Montgomery    10. Psychology    11. Regional Subjects - South    12. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General   

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Alcoholics    3. Baseball    4. Child Care/Parenting    5. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    6. Family relationships    7. General    8. Parenting    9. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    10. Child care & upbringing   

Reviews (1)

Damn good start for any ACA or ACOA
Very good material if you are just starting your recovery journey. It pretty much tells why you are embarking on this journey and what to expect on the journey so it is quite useful as a guide. Don't expect it to give lasting answers to the ways of life though. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Alcoholism (Psychiatric Aspects)    3. Recovery    4. Self-Help    5. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    6. United States    7. Psychiatry   

Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Children of women prisoners    3. Criminology    4. Family relationships    5. Prisoners' families    6. Self-Help    7. Social Science    8. Sociology    9. Sociology - Marriage & Family    10. United States    11. Women prisoners    12. Women's Studies - General    13. Psychology    14. Social Science / Criminology   

Subjects:  1. Adult Children Of Alcoholics    2. Alcohol Abuse    3. Self-Help    4. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism   

Reviews (1)

Thoughtful, sensitive, concise and direct.
I've read lots of books on ACA or ACoA (Adult Child of Alcoholics). This book has excellent, meaty descriptions, anecdotes, and solutions for those who are struggling with the aftermath of growing up in a family that didn'tprepare them for adulthood. Insightful enough for the professional, simplywritten enough for the lay person who has never had any exposure to thistopic, Chermak cuts to the core issues and deals with them effectively. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Alcoholics    3. Alcoholism    4. General    5. Psychology    6. Rehabilitation    7. Self-Help    8. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    9. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    10. United States   

Reviews (1)

the beginnings of American welfare
Gordon weaves a cohesive tale about the origins of our modern welfare state, beginning with the reform-minded settlement house women and their work to represent and help the single mother.Maternalism, Gordon argues, is a concept central to their work, and the concept remains today in the "welfare" (needs-based) portion of welfare (as opposed to the parts we think of as entitlements, like social security pensions for the retired and public education).Maternalism is the idea that we (society) have an obligation, like a mother to needy, to lift the underclass out of their moral, as well as financial and physical, problems.This brought the ideas of "means-testing" and "morals-testing" as conditions for financial aid to welfare recipients, and despite the good intentions, has led to the further stigmatization of welfare recipients.
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Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. General    3. History: American    4. Politics - Current Events    5. Politics / Current Events    6. Sociology - General    7. History / United States / General    8. Social welfare & social services    9. USA   

Subjects:  1. Abuse - General    2. Adult Children of Alcoholics    3. Canada    4. Dating violence    5. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    6. Family violence    7. Interpersonal Relations    8. Interpersonal relations in ado    9. Interpersonal relations in adolescence    10. Prevention    11. Social Science    12. Sociology    13. Sociology - General    14. Study and teaching    15. Adolescents    16. Causes & prevention of crime    17. Child & developmental psychology    18. Children    19. Family & Relationships / Abuse    20. Psychology & Psychiatry / Interpersonal Relations    21. Psychology-Interpersonal Relations    22. Self-Adult Children of Alcoholics    23. Social, group or collective psychology   

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Alcoholics    3. Family relationships    4. General    5. Recovery    6. United States    7. Non-Classifiable   

Reviews (9)

A Waste of Time
I don't believe I've ever read such an unhelpful organizing book.Much of the book is spent on describing the assumed state of the problem, rather than on offering solutions to the problem.(Do I really need half a chapter to tell me that my kitchen is disorganized?If I didn't already know that, why was I reading the kitchen chapter?)The remainder of the "stuff" organization chapters (as opposed to the time management chapters in the first section of the book) consists of lists of tips.Unfortunately, the vast majority of these tips are things that most of us could have figured out on our own."Write down what you're running out of BEFORE you run out of it." We don't necessarily all DO this, but I don't think we needed help coming up with the concept.Moreover, most of the methods the author recommends will only work well for a small segment of the population - that is, those who don't actually struggle with disorganization but who have simply not gotten around to getting organized before.For example, the method given for organizing a room is to dump EVERYTHING into the middle of the room, from all of the drawers, shelves, etc., and start from there.For some people, this may work great.For many of us, it would result in being immediately overwhelmed, crashing and burning when barely into the project, ending up with a much larger mess than what we started with, and, possibly, giving up on any further attempts to get organized.
Fluffy
This author has some great ideas, but the author includes too much fluf. Whenever a person writes a book, they have to include fluf, but I find myself uninterested in the fluf.

Very little helpful advice
If you want to be told that you are a procrastinator and that you need to make a schedule to find the time to get organized than this book is for you. But if you are truly disorganized, sitting down and making a schedule is the last thing you will find the motivation to do. The author tells you,"don't procrastinate and get organized, set goals and make a schedule," but she doesn't offer any real techniques to help, and she attributes laziness to messiness. I recommend
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Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Business Life - General    3. Cleaning & Caretaking - Household Hints    4. Home Improvement / Construction    5. Organization    6. Self-Help    7. Time management    8. Coping with drug & alcohol abuse    9. Marriage, family & other relationships    10. Mathematics and Science   

Subjects:  1. Adult Children Of Alcoholics    2. Alcohoism    3. Alcohol Abuse    4. Alcoholism    5. Clinical Psychology    6. General    7. Prevention    8. Research    9. Self-Help    10. Social Science    11. Sociology    12. Sociology - General    13. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    14. Treatment    15. Psychology    16. Psychology & Psychiatry / General   

Reviews (1)

Five stars for the sheer audacity of the Feeneys!!
I was sucked in by this book, just like so many other parents of missing children. The Feeneys are among the biggest liars and con-artists I have ever met in my life. In the search for my missing daughter, they provided me with a receipt for services in the amount of $500. We never saw another receipt, nor any of the agreed upon information they were to find out for me, nor the other $4,500 advance again. No one should help them profit from their crimes by buying any books that they receive royalties on. I hate to think that the author was taken in too.Another victim of the Feeneys ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Case studies    3. General    4. Kidnapping, Parental    5. Parental kidnapping    6. Politics - Current Events    7. Sociology    8. United States    9. Crime & criminology   

Subjects:  1. Adult children of alcoholics    2. Alcoholism    3. Clinical Psychology    4. General    5. Health/Fitness    6. Mental health    7. Psychology    8. Risk factors    9. Self-Help    10. Child & developmental psychology    11. Drug addiction & substance abuse    12. Psychology & Psychiatry / Clinical Psychology   

Reviews (1)

Review of Keep the Loving and Stop the Drinking
I am a substance abuse clinician in an intensive outpatient clinic who has used this book as my resource for lectures and facilitating groups, especially with families.It is the most complete and accurate recovery book that I have ever read which applies practical wisdom on substance dependence.Keep the Loving provides a road map to every step in the process of dealing with the alcoholic/addict who is taking the first steps to becoming sober. Mr. Lucas wrote this book with sensitivity and insight into the minds of people who are making decisions to seek relief, in addition to exploring the families roles. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Alcoholics    3. Alcoholics' spouses    4. Alcoholism    5. Codependency    6. Family relationships    7. Recovery    8. Self-Help    9. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism