Editorial Review

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Reviews (20)

"Or Not to Be" a.k.a. "Suicide is for Idiots" by Mark Etkind
If you are interested in a book of suicide notes, you obviously have your reasons.And this is one of the few books that deals with such a controversial subject in such a blunt manner. But don't let the title fool you; this is not merely a collection of suicide notes. It's heavily peppered with Mr. Etkind's opinionated, self-righteous preaching.
Exactly what it says it is
This book is a great reference for those interested in suicide notes.Etkind, however, has too many unqualified comments and some of the notes could be found on the internet anyway.

Etkind Shies from Analysis
Etkind's collection of suicide notes is a cautious creature, timid to delve too deeply into the situations or mindsets surrounding the tragic losses it records.It strikes me as being far too concerned with moralizing and less involved in analyzing-- I am far more interested in why, psychologically, the notes have been written at all, and far less in why the author feels the writer is wrong to have acted out suicidal impulses.Read more

Subjects:  1. Health/Fitness    2. Psychological aspects    3. Psychology    4. Suicidal Behavior    5. Suicide    6. Psychotherapy    7. Social Science / General   

Subjects:  1. General    2. Popular works    3. Psychology    4. Psychopathology - General    5. Psychotherapy    6. Self-injurious behavior    7. Self-mutilation    8. Suicide    9. Coping with illness    10. Psychology & Psychiatry / Psychotherapy   

Reviews (2)

Accounts by adult children about parents who died by suicide
This book is divided into four sections.In section one and two, adult children tell their own stories about the aftermath of the death of their mother or father by suicide.In the third section, four adult children from the same family describe the suicide of their mother, and in the fourth section, two experts write about research and treatment.In section one and two, although the adult children have different backgrounds, their accounts contain common themes that illustrate the near-universal emotions people experience in the wake of suicide.As a counterpoint, in section three, four siblings have different perspectives on the same suicide, showing there is no single way to grieve.The final section is titled `Research and Resources' but could also have been titled `Myth Busters' since it contains facts about suicide based on empirical observation and may provide the reader with fresh insights.Overall, the only misstep the editors make is the decision to exclude gory details (i.e., finding the dead parent) and this omission reinforces the idea that this issue is too horrible to write about or to read.This quibble aside, the book will help a select but not small group of grieving adults and provides both consolation and information.

Finally! A book for the least spoke about survivor!
The book is aimed towards the adult child survivor.It details some of the many different types of emotions that one experiences.Insightfulinformation passed on by other's losses. It illustrates everything from theinitial shock to how many explain the cause of death to the grandchildren. The book demonstrates how the loss of each parent affects both the daughterand the son of the parent.A must read for any sdult child who isexperincing the whirlwind of emotions from their loss. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult children    2. Death    3. Death / Grief / Consolation    4. Death, Grief, Bereavement    5. Older people    6. Parenting - Parent & Adult Child    7. Parents    8. Psychological aspects    9. Psychology    10. Suicidal behavior    11. Suicide    12. Family & relationships    13. Social welfare & social services   

Reviews (6)

Out of the Valley of the Shadow
Almost every book about suicide focuses on its causes, often chronicling the final descent of its victims. This heartfelt study does something different and long overdue - it examines the lives of "failed" suicides and lets them describe how they emerged from of the seemingly bottomless darkness that nearly claimed them. Harrowing in its depiction of the pain that fills the suicidal mind, deeply moving in its stories of overcoming that pain and living beyond it, this book is an invaluable resource. By the time you turn the last page, hope will be even more tangible to you than despair. A book that should be kept permanently in print.

This One Hits It Exactly.....
Having the disorder of depression; and teetering in and out of suicidal thoughts; I went in search of a book which explained what I was going through.After reading several books, I came across this one.THIS IS IT! It is the ONLY book I have found that "gets it".I havebought 5 copies - one by one - and have loaned them all out to friends andtherapists whom I wanted to really understand what I was going through. I believed someone really knew what suicide feels like
A few weeks after a failed attempt at suicide, I found this book when searching for some understanding of suicidal feelings.When I read the stories and the quotes of those who have overcome the tempation, I feltthat someone really did understand the way the mind narrows to the pointwhere sucide is the only option. I bought copies for those who weresurprised, and hurt, by my attempt.If you battle suicidal urges or wantto know what it is like to enter the "vortex", I would reccomendthis very helpful book.I thank the author and all he interviewed. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Abridged Audio - Misc. Nonfiction    2. Audio Adult: Books On Tape    3. Case Studies    4. Despair    5. Suicidal behavior    6. Suicide   

Reviews (4)

A grieving mom
As a mom grieving over the loss of her son to suicide, I was so grateful to receive this book as a gift from my other son.It is a book that speaks not only to parents, but to siblings and children of suicides.It gives hope to those of us left behind that we are not alone in our despair.I belong to a small support group and bought this book as a gift for those friends who are trying to find happiness in life again.We are all grateful to the author for bringing all the stories together and to all those who contributed their own heartbreak.

Great recovery book
I am a little bias to the book being that I contribute a chapter in it but I think that this book will help anyone that has lost a loved one to suicide both recently and not. I am just blessed to have been a part of it. I am going to give this book to everyone in my family for Valentine's day.

This book will touch your heart.
This book is written by television news anchor, award winning journalist and former beauty queen Heather Hays. It includes her story, that of the author that lost her fiance of 10 years to suicide. She's been there, she knows the pain. Reading her account of the suicide that forever changed her life will bring tears to your eyes. But the book is not only about the author's journey back. It is so much more. As you read the accounts of literally dozens of other survivors you will be touched by the fragility of life and the need to lend support and love to those that have been left behind.
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Subjects:  1. Death / Grief / Consolation    2. Death, Grief, Bereavement    3. Psychology    4. Suicide   

Reviews (5)

A significant book on suicide- all Arthur needed was meet his match, and he never met one
For some reason, when I first got "Autopsy of a Suicidal Mind", I simply turned to the final pages: the 11-page suicide note left by the central figure in this book- Arthur- a real human being, male, Caucasian, 33-year-old, divorced physician-lawyer who had been severely depressed and suicidal for virtually all his life. I finished reading his suicide letter in one go, and what I could see was: this was not an "ordinary" mental patient. This note was written by a highly intelligent, very likely also highly educated, very sensitive intellectual whose pain, suffering, or "psychache" as the author put it, was never, and never could have been understood by anyone else in his life. This was a man whose mind worked like a "sad, somber and pessimistic philosopher" who seemed to others, his loved ones or the professionals who carried out his psychological autopsy, "unlovable" or "rejecting love". In my humble opinion, he was not. He was dying for love, but one may only be able to conclude that it was his misfortune that he never had the opportunity to be nourished and rescued by the love that he had been desperately seeking deep inside, for his entire lifetime.
Very good book with lots of info......
I bought this book after reading a delightful article about the author, Schneidman, in the Los Angeles Times a couple of weeks ago (GREAT article, too, if you can find it!)The book is thorough, to say the least.I think probably everything that could be said about Arthur, the man who committed suicide, has been said.I would like to see a picture of him -- or would I?Turns out he was very self-centered; in fact, it's hard for me to believe all these people adored him as they seemed to.I don't mean to pass judgment on the man, but just wanted to let readers know this is an excellent, fascinating primer on suicide, and even of human nature.It is not too technical, and it is very touching in parts, not to mention educational.If you have ever known anyone who has committed suicide, or even know of someone (like Sylvia Plath, the poet), this book will hold your interest all the way through.

Excellent book!!!
This is an excellent book.I would recommend it to anyone interested in psychology - especially the suicidal aspect of it.At points the writing may be above the average person, but I think almost anyone can read and understand this book. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Case studies    2. Classics    3. Fiction    4. History: World    5. Literature: Classics    6. Mental Health    7. Psychological autopsy    8. Psychology    9. Suicide    10. Psychology & Psychiatry / Suicide    11. Psychology | Clinical   

Subjects:  1. Clinical Psychology    2. Psychology    3. Psychotherapy - General    4. Suicidal Behavior    5. Suicide    6. Psychology & Psychiatry / Clinical Psychology    7. Psychotherapy   

Reviews (38)

Geo Stoned, more like.
Whenever I feel helples and awfull (which is SO offen) I look up at the stars and wonder why, GOD, did you put me on this earth to suffar?I suffar SO MUCH!i just want to thank you, geo, for helping poeple liek us (the depresed) realize that there is really so little to live for.i might as well die.geo... i'll shake your hand in hevven!i <3 <3 <3 geo!
Geo's Tome
This does not help anyone. Everyone around me is committing suicide to this book. It's awful... awfully good... awfully good to die to.

Kill me if I pay this much for a book!
Anyone who pays a thousand bucks for a $20 book deserves to die.Give me a break! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. General    2. Mental Health    3. Psychology    4. Self-Help    5. Suicide   

Reviews (10)

must have for survivors
I am so thankful that I found this book! My Husband, a vibrant, successful, hansome United States Marine took his own life a year and a half ago.How could someone who had so much to live for do such a thing? How could he leave us?What was he thinking? Why didn't I see it coming? In a desperate search for answers I read, talked, and listened.When I read Dying To Be Free, Many Of my questions were answered and I began my path of healing.This simple concise book helped me understand how my husband got to the point where suicide seemed like the ONLY option. The authors do an excellent job of tying together their own experiences with many other survivors and family members to find commonalities which help us to understand what went wrong.
An informative and thoroughly accessible understanding of the terrifying realities suicide and its aftermath
Suicide is present in every community and in every segment and strata of our society, creating an emotional impact that can often be catastrophic to families, devastating to friends, and shocking to the community. Dying To Be Free: A Healing Guide For Families After A Suicide offers an informative and thoroughly accessible understanding of the terrifying realities suicide and its aftermath, including the necessity for developing a caring process for overcoming the resultant grief, guilt, and psychic damage to surviving family member, friends, and associates. Carrying readers through the commonly encountered emotional issues and offering an up-front, honest recollection of personal struggles involved in a loved one's suicide or suicide attempt, Dying To Be Free offers a complete, insightful, expert and sensitive guide through the many psychological influences and diverse situational contributions to the matter of suicide, as well as first hand accounts provided by suicide survivors. Critically important reading for anyone having to deal with the suicide and/or suicidal behavior of a loved one, Dying To Be Free is very highly recommended for its perspective on working through the grief and emotional distress that results from the self-inflicted taking of a human life.
Dying to be Free
This a a heart breaking book full of truth and very honest.well written for any one to read.know it took alot for Bev and Jean to put it all into words.For anyonethat needs to learn more about Suicide.Thia is the top of my list to share with my group.Thank You Both from a mom that walks that cold dark road called grief my son Randy died inJuly 1999.Alice ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adjustment (Psychology)    2. Bereavement    3. Death / Grief / Consolation    4. Death And Dying (Sociological Aspects)    5. Death, Grief, Bereavement    6. Family & Relationships    7. Family/Marriage    8. Psychological aspects    9. Suicidal Behavior    10. Suicide    11. United States    12. Self-Help / Death, Grief, Bereavement   

Subjects:  1. Job stress    2. Police    3. Prevention    4. Psychology    5. Suicidal behavior    6. Suicide    7. United States   

Subjects:  1. Biblical teaching    2. Psychological aspects    3. Psychology    4. Social Psychology    5. Sociology (Specific Aspects)    6. Suicidal Behavior    7. Suicide    8. Suicide in literature    9. Cultural studies    10. Death & dying    11. Mental health services    12. Psychology & Psychiatry / Social Psychology   

Subjects:  1. Assessment, Testing & Measurement    2. General    3. Health/Fitness    4. Prevention    5. Psychology    6. Psychotherapy - Child & Adolescent    7. Suicidal behavior    8. Suicide    9. Teenagers    10. Adolescents    11. Psychiatry   

Editorial Review

Suicide rates continue to rise.Assisted suicides continue tograb headlines.Why shouldn't we call it quits when the world is apainful place and the future seems non-existent? Direct, practical,accepting, at times humorous--this book offers support for thosefacing the blind alleys, bottomless pits, and concrete barriers of life.Arising from the author's struggle with suicidal thoughts, these 45short essays range in diversity from Marilyn Monroe to William Styron, from guilt to vitamins, and from bad manners to bad genes.While acknowledging the depth of pain that brings people to considersuicide, this book asks them to wait.The format is easy to readwherever opened, intelligent, yet fitting to a short attention span. When someone can't imagine one reason, this book offers 45. Additionally,the rare glimpse into this other world has helpedphysicians, counselors, police, teachers, chaplains, family, and friends further understand the suicidalpsyche. ... Read more

Reviews (6)

Great subject headings
This book has potential for being a great book.By that I mean that the introduction described depression and suicidal thinking better than I've ever heard anyone else do so.It was like she was inside my head.
A kindred spirit
From the preface I could feel the author's emotion and pain.I felt I finally found someone who could understand.Not the usual flowery "life is wonderful, don't do it" suicide prevention book.This is down to earth, real reasons for living despite the depression.

Inspired, Powerful, Life-saving
I have dealt with depression and suicidal feelings for years and have tried several medications and several psychiatrists.I found it immensely comforting to see my feelings expressed so articulately alongside useful, inspired suggestions concerning those feelings.Jillayne Arena's advice is so valuable because not only has she "been there," she has performed extensive introspection and has thereby earned wisdom and philosophy from which the reader may benefit.This book doesn't "wear out": after several readings it hasn't lost its power to renew my strength.I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone with mild to severe depression.I also recommend it to those who are close to someone depressed: this book will show you how to support them. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Depressed persons    2. Prevention    3. Psychological aspects    4. Psychology    5. Self-Help    6. Suicidal behavior    7. Suicide    8. Self-Help & Practical Interests   

Reviews (12)

Read this because our children are reading it
What separate this story of a family's struggle with a son's suicidal depression are the son's and his girlfriend's own first-person accounts of their psychological torments.Maybe these accounts, together with author Griffith's lucidity, explain why so many young people seem to be seeking this book out.They certainly make the lack of mental health support this family found all the more shocking.

Worthy of a Nobel Prize for Brilliance and Generosity
Reading this book was one of the most affecting entertainment experiences I have ever had. I venture to say that not since the 12-hour 1973 TV documentary, 'An American Family', has there been -- in print or on video -- as fully realized a portrait of a family in crisis as is portrayed in this astonishing work.The story begins with the highest possible drama in recounting the near-fatal suicide attempt of an exceptionally bright, seemingly well-adjusted 17-year-old boy in the bedroom of the upper middle class D.C. home he shared with two loving and dedicated parents.In fact, at the time of his attempt, Will was actually being raised by four remarkable parents, as both his mother (author Gail Griffith with whom he was living when he overdosed on anti-depressant drugs intending to die) and his father (with whom he was also extremely close) had each acquired a second spouse; not only had the respective step-parents embraced Will as if he were their natural child, but the four adults had achieved unusual harmony amongst themselves, beautifully integrating their extended families.No post-divorce rancor or other trauma, no major drug or alcohol problems, few dark clouds of any kind appeared to have unleashed the violent storm that nearly destroyed a promising young man.Partial answers to the riddle of why Will crashed are suggested by Griffith's history of her own lengthy depression and hospitalization, as well as her painfully detailed portrait of Will's girlfriend, Megan, who was also suffering from severe depression as well as an addiction to cutting her skin with razor blades and knives. Indeed, Griffith, in securing the right to publish contemporaneous letters and diary notes from young Megan Mathews (interspersed with those of Will and many other family members) tells a story of a second deeply-troubled self-mutilating teen, who, like Will, eventually manages to regain her mental health; not only does the quality of Megan's writing add an excellent further dimension to Griffith's story, but I feel certain that the excerpts from Megan are our introduction to an uncommonly talented writer -- whose own books I eagerly look forward to reading.As Will rallies from a 2-day coma, his family confronts their fears that he might attempt a second try, as well as guilt and anger over the mystery of what led to the first attempt. Griffith ably stitches together the story of Will's earlier years and then recounts the intensive family effort to locate what proves to be a rare and remarkable institution, Montana Academy, which accepts Will and shepards his year-long recovery to where he regains a strong will to live and resume normal life in the 'real' world.Griffith pauses throughout her narrative to alert parents to what she learned from this excruciating experience -- how to foretell suicide threats, how to diagnose and deal with depressed children, how to work with psychiatrists and other doctors, how to evaluate and manage anti-depressant drugs, and many other insights into preserving family mental health. Virtually no names are fictionalized in this book, which adds to its authenticity and underlines the courage of the many family members, friends, and others who cooperated in this supremely generous offering -- which no parent should miss the opportunity to learn from.

Moving and Inspirational
The circumstances of Gail Griffith's story are too familiar to many of us who have shared the suffering of family members with mental illnesses.Congratulations to Will, Gail and their family and friends for finding a way out of the darkness and for their courage in showing others that it can be done. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. 1950-    2. Adolescent Psychiatry    3. Biography    4. Biography / Autobiography    5. Case studies    6. Depressed persons    7. Depression in adolescence    8. Developmental - Adolescent    9. Griffith, Gail,    10. Griffith, Will    11. Life Stages - Adolescence    12. Parental Memoirs    13. Psychology    14. Suicidal Behavior    15. Suicide    16. Teenagers    17. United States    18. Psychology & Psychiatry / Adolescent Psychology   

Reviews (4)

Simple and very helpful
My closest friend found her husband dead from suicide 2 months ago.It destroyed her.I researched books, and found this one to be right on the mark for her.She reads it again and again and says it is really helping her.Yes, it is Christian, but not at all pushy about it.The book cuts through all the medical detail and presents a lesson on what to expect and how to deal with the different stages of grief on a very personal level.

Standing in the Shadow
I thought this book was wonderful, very easy to read and understand, gets to the point of different feelings you go threw, and gives a christian perspective in dealing with what you cannot control. I am a survivior of the suicide of my husband and this book was very helpful.

activities most helpful
A lighter weight book for survivors. I found the activities she suggested to be helpful in helping me sleep at night, rid myself of some thoughts of guilt, and move forward with my life. I did find it to be religious (Christian) which didn't help me as much as Carla Fine's book, No Time to Say Goodbye. It was not judgemental however. It's openminded and offered me some comfort. Easy to read in one sitting. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Bereavement    2. Death / Grief / Consolation    3. Death, Grief, Bereavement    4. Grief    5. Psychological aspects    6. Self-Help    7. Suicide    8. Suicide victims    9. Self-Help / Death, Grief, Bereavement   

Reviews (3)

a must-read!
This is a really, really great book to go through with any child, even if you're not a therapist.The book has REALLY short chapters.You're supposed to read the chapter with the child, and then there're questions at the end of the chapter.An example would be, Chapter 1 talks about where the child in the story was when his dad killed himself.Then the questions ask things like, where were you when your special person died, etc. Great Book!
But I Didn't Say Goodbye was easy to read and very helpful.The story of this child survivor and the adults in his life will empower any child survivor. I know this book will help parents find the answers they are looking for.

But, I Didn't Say Goodbye
This book is an invaluable tool and resource! As a Therapist, I highly recommend its straight forward approach to helping child suicide survivors. Ms. Rubel has included at the end of each chapter easy to read worksheets and exercises. No Counselor and/or Therapist should be without it. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Death, Grief, Bereavement    2. Psychology    3. Psychology & Psychiatry / Suicide    4. Self-Help / Death, Grief, Bereavement    5. Suicide    6. Bereavement in children    7. Grief in children    8. Psychology & Psychiatry    9. Self-help   

Subjects:  1. Counseling    2. Prevention    3. Psychology    4. Sociology    5. Suicidal behavior    6. Suicide    7. Treatment   

Editorial Review

In 1988, Gloria Vanderbilt's 23-year-old son Carter committed suicide. As Vanderbilt looked on, Carter swung away from the terrace wall of her 14th-floor New York apartment and, in Vanderbilt's words, "He let go." In this poignant memoir, Vanderbilt reflects on her own painful history and what she describes as "the final loss, the fatal loss that stripped me bare." She thought, she says, that she could not survive the death of her son. This memoir is a testimony to her courage and her own return to life. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

Mostly Plagerizes Husband's Book
I read this book before I read her husband Wyatt Cooper's book, which was written decades before Gloria's book. I was confused to find that almost every single one of Gloria's 'memories' of her sons, mostly centering around Carter, obviously, were almost word for word taken from Wyatt Cooper's novel. This makes her book, titled A Mother's Story, so much more sad for me---does Gloria not have any memories about her sons that are her own?
"No one would ever be a stranger to me again."
Gloria Vanderbilt describes herself as living from earliest childhood in an "unbreakable glass bubble," a sense of being isolated from people because she was unlovable and unworthy, unable to feel deep emotions. Though she knew happiness for the first time with her fourth husband Wyatt Cooper and her sons, she still felt tinges of being cut off from reality.Her husband's death started to crack the unbreakable bubble surrounding her soul, and it shattered completely and forever when she witnessed her son Carter commit suicide, when he was 23.
A Mother's Story
This book is an unexpected jewel that was given to me by a friend during a time in my life where I was struggling with myself and my path in life.Everyone can associate with the events and emotions conveyed in this touching account of a mother losing her son.Honest, personal, and moving, the author invites us into a sacred place and shares her tragedy with the world with loving care.At times I felt embarassed, as if I were trespassing into a private and personal memory.It is more than a book about loss and heart ache, it is a book about life. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. 1924-    2. 1965-1988    3. Biography    4. Biography & Autobiography    5. Biography / Autobiography    6. Biography/Autobiography    7. Case studies    8. Cooper, Carter Vanderbilt,    9. General    10. Mothers    11. Specific Groups - Special Needs    12. Suicide    13. Suicide victims    14. United States    15. Vanderbilt, Gloria,    16. Biography & Autobiography / General    17. Cooper, Carter Vanderbilt    18. Vanderbilt, Gloria   

Subjects:  1. Aboriginal Australians    2. Anthropology - Cultural    3. Psychology    4. Social Science    5. Social conditions    6. Sociology    7. Suicidal behavior    8. Suicide   

Subjects:  1. Boys    2. Gay Studies    3. Gay youth    4. Lesbian Studies    5. Men's Studies - General    6. Prevention    7. Quâebec (Province)    8. Social Science    9. Sociology    10. Suicidal behavior    11. Suicide    12. Cultural studies    13. Gender studies    14. North America