Reviews (8)

Great bedtime read

Must Have With Companion Book
This simple workbook takes 3-5 years to work through in order to arrive at a point where one will recognize who they truly are in the big and little picture called life.Absolutely required if one seriously is on a journey of discovery and is prepared to take steps to wholeness.This workbook will not make much sense unless using it in conjunction with the parent book Healing the Child Within.

Great Ally
This book is a godsend for clients who are working on severe trauma issues.It is respectful of the pace and nature of the work.Client safety and security in the here and now are primary.The book provides many tools and practical exercises that promote recovery.As a therapist, I find it is a great professional ally as I work with clients who struggle to heal and change after enduring profound abuse, neglect, and trauma.
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Subjects:  1. Adult children of dysfunctional families    2. Co-dependence (Psychology)    3. Codependency    4. General    5. Psychology (General)    6. Rehabilitation    7. Self    8. Self-Help    9. Treatment    10. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    11. Popular psychology    12. Self-Help / Codependency   

Reviews (3)

There are better books on this subject
I found this book lacking. There are better authors out there covering this subject with more clarity.

Engaging retelling of the search for self.
John Lee, well known in the men's movement and the recovery movement, setsout to share with us his growth through his own troubles based on his priorrelationships. His insights are well worth the read, as he shares with usthe enlightenment he experiences as he tries to deal with the weight of hisparents, his early rejections, and his inability to express the rage hefeels in an appropriate way. His story is sometimes almost too personal: wedon't really want to be there through ALL of it, somehow. And yet, we aretransfixed even on the most basic responses he feels. His progress issteadyand we are rewarded by the goals he achieves. Alas, like real life,there is no happy ending with the girl, the horse and the sunset. Still,the changes he feels, the inner pains he quells, these are all worth thepain he still carries, the fights he still has to fight.An enduringvolume, and a must for the man still struggling with his father, strugglingwith his pain, or not sure why he struggles, only that he does.

Helpful for survivors of toxic families.
I found this book helpful, hopeful and comforting for both my own painfrom childhood traumas and for understanding the person I love so much whohas his own demons from his childhood raised in an alcoholic family.Lee'sbook is probably most helpful to those who are ready and willing to facetheir problems and find professional help to guide them in confronting andneutralizing the pain so destructive to successful and meaningful adultrelationships.A short read, an inexpensive book, but very useful! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Case studies    2. Codependency    3. General    4. Interpersonal relations    5. Men    6. Psychology    7. Recovery    8. Self-Help    9. Self-actualization (Psychology    10. Self-actualization (Psychology)    11. Family & Relationships / General    12. Popular medicine   

Reviews (3)

Good summary of dysfunction
I am a practicing psychotherapist.Although this book is old (1991), I still find it is one of the best summaries of "wounded child" paradigm; I use it often to educate clients on why they act and feel the way they do.Yes, this whole way of viewing dysfunction has its limits (they think everyone in the world is suffering from unhealed wounds of the child, and they use the term 'co-dependent' for everything under the sun).But this book is also surprisingly well-edited, tight, and to the point, much less "fluffy" than much of the "recovery" literature.It strikes a good balance between accessibility and depth.I especially like some of Whitfield's diagrams, which wonderfully illustrate the difficult stages of recovery from abuse.

Very poignant!
This book really opened my eyes to the what is really going on in my relationship.I think co-dependence occurs to some extent in any relationship and anybody who becomes aware of its mechanisms will probably enhance the quality of their lives dramatically.This book is a great vehicle for anyone to improve on their relationships.I must also recommend Rhythm, Relationships, and Transcendence by Toru Sato since it is an even more insightful book about relationships and codependence.Read them both!You will not be dissappointed!

shake up your your personal paradign
By the tiume you get to page 109 you will be depressed.The author so clearly explains how the wounding process takes place and what it's effects are.Although you should get angry and avoid most people from your family for a while.Eventually it is tremendously liberating and is a guide leading us off the path that other people have dictated to us.Shows us how to find our True self.That is exciting and can make one's life more worthwhile. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Co-dependence (Psychology)    2. Codependency    3. Personal Growth - General    4. Rehabilitation    5. Self-Help    6. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    7. Addiction & therapy    8. Mind, body, spirit: mysticism & self-awareness    9. Self-Help / Substance Abuse   

Reviews (9)

Some Right, Much Wrong
The authors have some good insights, like that America is full of co-dependants and encourages co-dependant relationships (not always on purpose of course) but they get much wrong.
practical, aplicable, better than Beattie
I have read through some of Melody Beattie's books, and I was thankful that there is a better book out there!!I'm analytical and like all things practical, so most of the codep books out there seemed a little to much of a rant or lament than anything practical.(I was disappointed with Beattie's perspective, because she speaks on a general level and never walks people through ways to grow and change.Her books seem fatalistic with the idea that once an codependent, always a codependent.)
Jungian garbage!
This book has too much of that:"Oh a cat Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Codependents    3. Neurology - General    4. Recovery    5. Rehabilitation    6. Self-Help    7. Mind, body, spirit: mysticism & self-awareness    8. Self-Help / Codependency    9. Social welfare & social services   

Reviews (2)

A great read for the co-dependant novice
Jan Silvious' book gives a very clear and easy to read definition of co-dependancy, emotional dependacy, and how the two work together to create relationships of all types (marriages, friendships, work place,parent/child) which are unhealthy for both partners, and which willeventually destroy those involved. She also gives helpful and clearsuggestions for those wishing to take the path to recovery, through trustand surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour.I highly recommend thisbook. As an ex-text book case, I can recommend this book first hand as ahelpful place to begin your recovery from both co-dependancy and emotionaldependancy.

A great read for the co-dependant novice
Jan Silvious' book gives a very clear and easy to read definition of co-dependancy, emotional dependacy, and how the two work together to create relationships of all types (marriages, friendships, work place,parent/child) which are unhealthy for both partners, and which willeventually destroy those involved. She also gives helpful and clearsuggestions for those wishing to take the path to recovery, through trustand surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour.I highly recommend thisbook. As an ex-text book case, I can recommend this book first hand as ahelpful place to begin your recovery from both co-dependancy and emotionaldependancy. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Christianity    2. Codependency    3. Interpersonal Relations    4. Psychology    5. Religion    6. Religious aspects    7. Christian Interest    8. Religion & Beliefs    9. Religion / Christian Life   

Reviews (5)

Unique, optimistic and uplifting look at codependence
This volume by Jacquelyn Small integrates psychological and spiritual approaches to addiction East and West.She looks at codependence as a spiritual crisis and presents an optimistic and encouraging path forward to people struggling with these issues.
Excellent book on relationships and personal growth!
This book is perhaps one of my favorite books on personal growth and interpersonal relationships. It integrates many theories of psychology and philosophy to help us develop more wisdom, care, and true strength of mind. This book has helped me understand myself immensely and I am very grateful to the author for this. If you are into books that integrate theories as well as the various fragmented parts of yourself, I also highly recommend the book "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is a an incredible book that will enlighten you incredibly! Your life will not be the same after reading it!

Spiritual roadmap
This book is spiritual roadmap for me. I use it all of the time now in my quest for self-development. It combines eastern and western thought and gives us a comprehensive understanding of ourselves. This is a great book to have if are interested in personal and spiritual growth. If you are interested in personal and spiritual growth, I also highly recommend the book "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is a bestseller among my group of friends and a completelyenlightening experience for all of us. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Co-dependence (Psychology)    2. Codependents    3. Recovery    4. Rehabilitation    5. Transpersonal psychology    6. Self-Help / Codependency   

Reviews (3)

Emotional Truth, Light
What is the Truth?Who are we?Huck Finn's father was a raging, violent alcoholic, who tried to kill Huck one night with a meat cleaver and shot gun.So he hid, ran away, suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) like a Vietnam combat veteran.As most of us do.Stephanie Brown's book SAFE PASSAGE is truly light in the darkness of family alcoholism.I admire and respect her courage for writing a well organized, accurate, clinically brilliant, heartfelt book about the trauma and terror I and 25-30 million other American children experienced in an alcoholic family.It's all in there.And it's all true.An ACA (adult child of alcoholics) I grew up terrified, thinking I was alone, unworthy, that no one understood.And they didn't.Not until blessed therapists like Stephanie Brown (who taught T. Cermak, M.D.), Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie Bowden (RECOVERY: A Guide For ACAs), and Timmen Cermak (A TIME TO HEAL: Huck Finn as ACA with PTSD) came along in the 1980s.They helped me profoundly to understand myself better and what happend to me.It all started with the Gravitz/Bowden book.And it's all in Stephanie Brown's book.My father and two brothers died from alcoholism at 50, 45, and 58 respectively.A playwright and screenwriter, my new screenplay is about family alcoholism, identity, roles we play, and its affects for generations.As Stephanie Brown says in her wonderful book, "Once home, that is, once stabilizedon the firm ground of a much healthier self, the ACA can tolerate seeing and feeling the whole of the past."Fear of abandonment and isolation challenge us as we become our true selves and rewrite our histories, Brown says.She's right.Divided into sections of Family Development, Individual Development, Consequences, Recovery, and Summing Up and Moving On, this book gives insight and understanding to the affects of family alcoholism on children and how to recover from it for the first time in recorded history.I highly recommend it.It's revolutionary.And healing.

Emotional Truth, Light
What is the Truth?Who are we?Huck Finn's father was a raging, violent alcoholic, who tried to kill Huck one night with a meat cleaver and shot gun.So he hid, ran away, suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) like a Vietnam combat veteran.As most of us do.Stephanie Brown's book SAFE PASSAGE is truly light in the darkness of family alcoholism.I admire and respect her courage for writing a well organized, accurate, clinically brilliant, heartfelt book about the trauma and terror I and 25-30 million other American children experienced in an alcoholic family.It's all in there.And it's all true.An ACA (adult child of alcoholics) I grew up terrified, thinking I was alone, unworthy, that no one understood.And they didn't.Not until blessed therapists like Stephanie Brown (who taught T. Cermak, M.D.), Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie Bowden (RECOVERY: A Guide For ACAs), and Timmen Cermak (A TIME TO HEAL: Huck Finn as ACA with PTSD) came along in the 1980s.They helped me profoundly to understand myself better and what happend to me.It all started with the Gravitz/Bowden book.And it's all in Stephanie Brown's book.My father and two brothers died from alcoholism at 50, 45, and 58 respectively.A playwright and screenwriter, my new screenplay is about family alcoholism, identity, roles we play, and its affects for generations.As Stephanie Brown says in her wonderful book, "Once home, that is, once stabilizedon the firm ground of a much healthier self, the ACA can tolerate seeing and feeling the whole of the past."Fear of abandonment and isolation challenge us as we become our true selves and rewrite our histories, Brown says.She's right.Divided into sections of Family Development, Individual Development, Consequences, Recovery, and Summing Up and Moving On, this book gives insight and understanding to the affects of family alcoholism on children and how to recover from it for the first time in recorded history.I highly recommend it.It's revolutionary.And healing.

most comprehensive well researched book on the topic
because of her longitudinal research and well organized presentation this book takes readers further and more scientifically into the dynamics of adult children of alcholocs with a deepr understanidng of what happened tothem and how to challenge their defenses.I want it for all my paitientsand rarely can they find it now. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Alcoholism    2. Self-Help    3. Codependency    4. Alcoholism    5. Drug addiction & substance abuse    6. Psychotherapy    7. Social, group or collective psychology    8. Psychology    9. Adult children of alcoholics    10. Recovery    11. Rehabilitation   

Reviews (1)

Very practical guide
A collection of 37 articles that promises to reconnect the reader with his/her inner child. The book starts with describing the archetype of the inner child. The book then goes on to describe problems with the innerchild. The finally the book offers suggestions with getting in touch withyour own inner child. A valuable book with good information for any parent. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Applied Psychology    2. Codependency    3. Developmental - General    4. Imagery (Psychology)    5. Inner Child    6. Personality    7. Psychology    8. Self    9. Self-Help    10. Self-actualization (Psychology    11. Self-actualization (Psychology)    12. Self-realization   

Reviews (28)

lighthearted to begin the process
Sure this book isn't your everyday psychoanalytical guide to moving on, but that's what's so great about it.I think it helps to make all the serious painful stuff so trivial. Reading other people's experiences really puts things in perspective.I think the best thing for heartbreak is laughter, and this book definitely has a lot of that.For those who need and WANT to snap out of it, this book is a great read.Even if it doesn't work the first time, read it again in the future, it really does help.

Will make you laugh!
This isn't a book to help you get over your ex. It made me laugh though when I wasn't in the best of moods after my break up. So, if you just broke up and need a not so serious self-help read, go ahead and get this. If anything, it WILL make you laugh!

There are better books out there to help you!
Hi, I have never written any reviews and don't plan on making a habit of it, but I know what it is to be truly heartbroken. I want to help you in any way I can because I know what you are going through. I have read every book on the subject that is out there, believe me. If you are really hurting, this book is not for you. It does not give you practical advice to help you get through the hurt. It's goal is to make you laugh and even at that, when you are hurting so badly, that is hard to do. I recommend two books for you: "You Didn't Complete Me" and "It's Called a Break-up because it's Broken." These were much more helpful to me. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Beauty & Grooming - General    2. Codependency    3. Dating (Social customs)    4. Interpersonal Relations    5. Love / Sex / Marriage    6. Man-woman relationships    7. Psychology    8. Self-Help    9. Separation (Psychology)    10. Single women    11. Self-Help & Practical Interests    12. Self-Help / Self-Esteem   

Reviews (5)

life changing
I read this book years ago and it was life changing.Terry Kellogg clearly explains family dysfunction in a personal way that really rang true for me.I have read a lot of these types of books but HIS was the best--gentle, sad, truth but with an offer of hope at the end. I had so many 'lightbulb' moments reading this--wish he had of written it when I was a teen.Ohwell--when the student is ready the teacher will come.

spiritual awareness
This book explains co-dependency more clearly than any other book I have read on the subject. Way more information than I ever expected. Want to get the sequel Broken Silence. Do you have it?

The Information in The Book Changed My Life.
I recommend this book whole-heartedly for anyone who would like to change behaviors that they are unhappy with, be able to participate more fully, naturally, and wisely in life, or have any family or childhood-relatedissues they would like to resolve.Excellent book for those willing tolook and willing to change. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Compulsive behavior    3. Neurology - General    4. Recovery    5. Self-Help    6. Marriage, family & other relationships    7. Self-Help & Practical Interests   

Reviews (1)

A BOOK ABOUT FREEDOM!!!
Pat Springle gives incredible insight into the woven complexities of codependency, yet relates this information in a simple language easy enough for a child to understand.If you struggle with the need to control andrescue others, then this book will assist you in your education and stepsto freedom.Another valuable resource is a book entitled "ESCAPE FROMCODEPENDENT CHRISTIANITY" By Dr. James B. Richards published only byImpact Ministries, Huntsville, AL 35805 ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. General    3. Neurology    4. Psychology    5. Religion (General)    6. Self-Help   

Reviews (10)

Rubber device, often nipple shaped, for a baby to suck...
These types of books are not constructive.They are simply pacifiers for adults.The title alone indicates that, "Ladies, finger at the ready, now point and repeat after me - it's his entire fault!"
Some valid info presented
There was some great information in the last two chapters of this book.I wish it started there!There was some valid information throughout the book, but it was presented without empathy and with a feminist twist.Mind you this review is coming from a "feminist"...Too many specific anecdotes...No solutions are presented.No advice for the "right" things to look for are presented - who ISN'T a Drama King?No real answers are given - just negativity about certain types.I certainly agree with most of the opinions, but the book should have been more thorough and deeper...It had potential, with very aware and awakening ideas, but they were never opened up. I was disappointed considering I bought it after reading a great quote from it about society in O Magazine.

A Must Read!
Ohmygosh, this book should be a class for high school girls, to save them tears and years of grief. Guys could learn from it as well, on what constitutes a "normal" relationship.
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Subjects:  1. Attitudes    2. Codependency    3. Interpersonal Relations    4. Life skills guides    5. Man-woman relationships    6. Men    7. Psychology    8. Self-Help    9. Women    10. Self-Help / Codependency   

Reviews (6)

A self-help resource for survivors of harmful relationships
Take Back Your Life: Recovering From Cults and Abusive Relationships by co-authors Janja Lalich (Associate Professor of Sociology at California State University, Chico) & Madeleine Tobias (The Clinical Coordinator and a psycho therapist at the Vet Center in White River Junction) is a self-help resource for survivors of harmful relationships, whether with an individual or a group, and their loved ones. Chapters explain in plain terms the siren call abusive relationships have some people, and the confusion, low self-esteem, and post-traumatic stress experienced by the victim, along with suggestions for picking up the pieces of one's life and embracing the healing process. Of special note are the chapters addressing problems with family members and children in cults, and therapeutic concerns. Take Back Your Life is written primarily for lay readers however, and is a very sober, serious, and practical guide.
Sane Advice for Those Leaving Cults
We don't hear much these days about the Branch Davidians, Heaven's Gate or even Jim Jones. It's tempting to think that the cult movement has faded and that the world's attention is on more pressing matters -- like suicide bombers. But they are all of a piece, according to Chico State University Associate Professor of Sociology Janja Lalich.
Excellent Resource!
Since leaving the cult Eckankar in 1998, and spending a lot of time on the internet trying to help others wake up, get out, and recover, I've read a lot of books on the subject of cults."Take Back Your Life" is one of the best!!An invaluable resource for both recovering cultists and people involved in abusive relationships, and concerned friends and family members. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Abuse - General    2. Codependency    3. Cults    4. Deprogramming    5. Ex-cultists    6. Personal Growth - Self-Esteem    7. Psychology    8. Rehabilitation    9. Self-Help    10. Psychology & Psychiatry / General   

Subjects:  1. Alcoholics    2. Alcoholism    3. Church work with alcoholics    4. Codependency    5. Family relationships    6. Recovery    7. Religious life   

Reviews (1)

Lost in the Shuffle - The Co-Dependent Reality
I have read a lot of self-help books about co-dependency and this book has been the one that always comes to mind for me and the one self- help book that I have recommended to others.It is written in an easy andfun-to-read format, yet covers many aspects of co-dependency in a serious,professional and concise way.I have given several copies to friends andfamily and highly recommend this book for those who have never read a bookon co-dependency, but also for the seasoned self-help book reader. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Mental Illness    3. Popular works    4. Recovery    5. Self-Help    6. Self-Help & Practical Interests    7. Self-Help / Codependency    8. Social, group or collective psychology   

Reviews (6)

Excellent expose of yet another false religion
Its a sin and a shame that the church of Jesus Christ is so entangled with AA.Countless churches open themeselves up to this group and partner with them in promoting the idea that drunkeness is somehow a disease needing healing rather than a sin needing to be repented of.The Bobgans do an excellent job with this book of exposing this false religion for what it is and of calling the true Christian who may be struggling in this area to repentance and freedom in Christ.We need more Christians as brave and bold as the Bobgans in this watered down, Bibilcally ignorant era of the church in which we live.

Historically inaccurate
It is one thing to analyze and criticize the "any god" idolatry that is destroying the effectiveness of today's 12 Step groups and the treatment industry itself. It is quite another to ignore or fail to report on the historical facts. Though the Bobgans don't think so, early A.A. was demonstrably a Christian fellowship in Akron. A.A. co-founder Dr. Bob Smith was a born again Christian. Akron A.A.'s program was Bible-based and stems largely from the Christian Endeavor influence in Dr. Bob's youth. The New York picture--dismal because of Bill Wilson's atheism, lack of familiarity with the Bible, and focus on funds--nonetheless took much of its Big Book text and 12 Step language from Rev. Sam Shoemaker. The Episcopal rector and AA mentor was rightly called a Bible Christian and co-founder of A.A. In their zeal to shoot down the 12 Step groups of today, the authors fail to base their criticism on the actual facts of early A.A. history.

Critique of Pure Nonsense
I grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. I lived through many painful and life shaping events. As a young adult I was hurting and searching for a way out of the pain and despair. I was led to a church that expressed the types of beliefs Martin Bobgan expresses in the book "12-Steps to Destruction: Co Dependency Recovery Heresy." I went to two services a week, attended Bible studies, prayed and read my Bible daily, and pestered my pastor for counseling for my disturbed soul and tortured mind. But instead of the solace and healing I was promised, I grew worse.Read more

Subjects:  1. Christianity    2. Christianity - Christian Life - General    3. Christianity - General    4. Codependency    5. Codependents    6. Religion - Christian Life    7. Religious aspects    8. Religious life    9. Twelve step programs   

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Love / Sex / Marriage    3. Mental health    4. Psychology    5. Relationship addiction    6. Self-Help    7. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Sexual    8. Women   

Reviews (1)

Small, but profound!
This book is a one day quick read, but don't let the the size fool you.It is content rich and has, by far, been one of the most impactful books I have read to date.I will be keeping this book by my bedside for alifetime.Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Inspirational    3. Inspirational - General    4. Meditations    5. Self-Help   

Reviews (1)

From Back Cover ~
"A fresh and greatly needed approach to helping the whole person; it fills a great gap in the existing literature. -Thomas Perrin, author of I Am an Adult Who Grew Up in an Alcoholic Family
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Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Counseling of    3. Patients    4. Psychology    5. Psychopathology - Addiction    6. Psychotherapy - Counseling    7. Rehabilitation    8. Self-Help    9. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    10. Substance abuse    11. Treatment    12. Counselling    13. Drug addiction & substance abuse    14. Non-Classifiable    15. Psychology & Psychiatry / General   

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Compulsive behavior    3. Judaism    4. Judaism - General    5. Judaism - Rituals & Practice    6. Religion    7. Religious aspects    8. Self-Help    9. Twelve-step programs    10. Religion & Beliefs