Reviews (13)

Too much waffle
It's longwinded and while it has some interesting insights,it's very poor on actually setting boundaries.Look for something else if you want to set boundaries.Disappointing.

Too scholarly
"Boundaries" reads like a term paper, with ample citations and literature support. It is a reassembly of so much already known, so if review is in your plans, go for it. Otherwise, there are many less-scholarly books that do a better job explaining boundaries. Just read a basic CoDA pamphlet!

Everyone should read this book!
Great service on shipping and product - I will buy again. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Interpersonal Relations    3. Self    4. Self-Help    5. Family & Relationships / Interpersonal Relations    6. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    7. Popular psychology   

Reviews (7)

Excellent pairing up of two winning volume from Beattie
Melody Beattie, a former addict, used to hate codependents (which she defines as "people who have let another person's behavior afect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior").Codepdendents are most frequently the family members of alcoholics or drug users, but the definition is broad.Beattie thought codependents were hostile and detrimental to the recovery process.When she went through codependency herself, her eyes were opened to the world that these people live in, and to the potential for recovery if one can identify the problem and take positive steps to improve their life.
If you're looking for help, this book is it
After years of living with an alcoholic man, I found this book through a wonderful counselor.It literally saved my life. I started reading and found myself within the pages.This book opened my heart and my mind to the good things life had for me. Melody's book, Beyond Codependency, is also life-changing.

Let Go and Find Self-Love and Happiness
What an important book.Recommended to me by a therapist.It has changed my life.Now I recommend it to others who want to start living theirs.It's excellent, buy it. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Recovery    3. Self-Help   

Reviews (10)

Inspiring Real-life Story
It is amazing to read Melody Beattie's life story of her battle with addiction and destructive behaviors. She leads by example showing what she did to overcome her problems. I was truely amazed by what she went through. This is a wonderful Real life story for anyone struggling with addictions to read.

Prostitution, drugs, to fame in codependency research
Wow. When a friend lent me a copy of this book, I had to buy myself one. This is such a terrific addition to literature and I am so enlightened to have read it. I read Codependent No More over and over with a 1980s copy, and I never would have guessed what Ms. Beattie went through to get where she's at today. Prostitution so she could get drugs, rape from drugged stupors, her arm being photographed with all its needle marks and used to show school children the horrors of drug use -- the clinicians certainly never thought she'd amount to anything, but she learned codependency is the root of all addiction. An incredible story
Melody Beattie has a life story that I would never have imagined from Codependent No More. She has a powerful insight into how and why things happen and Playing It by Heart shows how she has truly "been there." This book was impossible to put down. It is one I would sincerely recommend to anyone who struggles with life, especially when addictions are involved. Her story was very encouraging and I am very glad to have found this book. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Codependents    3. Religious aspects    4. Religious life    5. Self-Help    6. Spirituality - General    7. Marriage, family & other relationships    8. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    9. Popular psychology    10. Self-Help / Substance Abuse   

Reviews (3)

"Excellent "
For years I have struggled with poor social and communication skills which caused me great frustration.This book was written for people like myself who have grown up in the shadows of alcoholism and consequently did not develop some key life skills as a result of the alcoholic environment.This book is a must read.it is thoroughly well written, with examples and instructions on how to develop the life skills needed. i especially liked the chapter that focused on conversation clues, which gives scenarios that can be used in everyday life. Wonderful!!

Not enough detail for my taste
I'm a veteran of the "adult child" genre, and as I was reading this book, I found myself thinking that other books in my library covered this ground much more effectively for my taste.I found the tone of this volume somewhat simplistic and the sample person-to-person interactions a bit forced (which I suppose is the point), but that made it hard for me to relate to them or imagine myself carrying out the sample exercises. An Invaluable Resource
"Lifeskills" is one of those books everyone should own.It deals with the personality traits inherent in those from dysfunctional families (primarily, children of alcoholics) and presents"normal" functioning skills which children of alcoholics often donot learn.Even if one is not a product of an alcoholic environment, thisbook gives an excellent view of healthy, "normal" responses tolife's daily situations. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics    2. Adult children of drug addicts    3. Codependency    4. Handbooks, manuals, etc    5. Life skills    6. Life skills guides    7. Recovery    8. Self-Help    9. Services For The Family    10. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    11. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    12. Popular psychology    13. Self-Help / Adult Children of Substance Abusers   

Reviews (18)

IT WAS NOT ME!!!!
I found this book after reading a review on another book. I started looking for something to help me to understand co-dependency which I was told I had after a hard melt down and diagnosed with PTSD and major depression. Had someone told me 5 years ago that I was a victem or co-dependant I would have laughed and thought they were crazy. From the very first page, I watched as my life unfolded, wept as I have finally come to understand that IT WAS NOT ME! There was never anything wrong that I did. That in the hands of these type of people, they prey on your very strengths, everything that should be good about yourself they twist and turn to use as there own tool to feed there never ending hunger. For me this book has been the answer to the question I have been asking for the last 45 yrs! Its the answer to how I'm going to live my life for the next 45. A must read!! For me a life raft thrown from the Titanic, I now have a chance.

If the other 16 reviews didn't convince you...
to buy this book, then don't. Check it out of your local library. I can pretty much guarantee that you will read this book cover-to-cover, non-stop, as I did.And THEN you will buy it!Why? Because you will want your very own copy to highlight, mark up, to put huge exclamation points by certain lines or paragraphs even as your tears are falling on the pages. You will want to keep this volume by your bedside, so that when you wake up in the middle of the night, weeping from dreams you cannot remember, Marie-France Hirigoyen's wisdom will bring you back to a place of safekeeping, of detachment, of rationality.
Amazingly Insightful
I wish I had read this book years ago.I went through years of therapy trying to figure out and explain my mother's hurtful behaviors towards me.The impact of these hurt felt devastating, but I was never sure if it was just me being too sensitive.This book is trememdously validating.It explains the abusive tactics, the inner psyche of the abuser and the victim, and the impact of being subject to such abuse.If you ever wonder if you were the target of emotional abuse, read this book.It'll save your life and bring you clarity.
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Subjects:  1. Abuse - General    2. Abuse - Psychological    3. Adult Children Of Dysfunctional Families    4. Codependency    5. Personality    6. Self-Help    7. Coping with personal problems    8. Psychology & Psychiatry / General    9. Social issues   

Reviews (30)

What a Wonderful Book!
Several 'Ah-has' later and I am on the path of reclaiming myself and my emotional recovery. What makes it even more wonderful is that my SO (& current abuser) agrees and is working on his own recovery, as well, after reading this book. As this book will confirm, it takes a victim to be a victim and a victim to be an abuser.
You must get this book if you're reading this
This is an excellent book for anyone who is experiencing emotional abuse or thinks they may be experiencing emotional abuse.It's broken down into categories very well, easy to read and easy to comprehend.I'll be giving workshops about emotional abuse and I plan to use this book as my guide.I'm also a victim of emotional abuse and I can honestly say -- I saw myself all over the pages of this book.It's well worth the money.I'd actually pay twice as much now that I've read it.

Abused?Get your life back. (This book is a "MUST-READ")
The first step to healing from abuse, whether it's mental, physical, emotional, or verbal, is realization of the problem.Secondly, it is the courage to face it.Finally, the willingness to do something about it.This book lays it out on the table!Everyone has boundaries and rights, which are stolen from the victim by the abuser. There ARE steps one can take to regain control of his/her life.So get a tablet, pen, and highlighter, open the book, and get going.You CAN do this.Abuse is in epidemic proportions, so it is not a bad idea to read this even before dating or beginning a relationship.By knowing the signs of abuse, you could avoid a bad relationship before it starts. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Abuse - General    2. Abuse - Psychological    3. Codependency    4. Codependents    5. Mental health    6. Personal Growth - Self-Esteem    7. Psychologically abused women    8. Rehabilitation    9. Self-Help    10. Coping with personal problems    11. Self-Help / General   

Subjects:  1. Christianity - Christian Life - General    2. Codependency    3. Religion    4. Religion - Christian Life   

Reviews (8)

my opinioin of Breaking free.
Plenty of room to write responses.
This is a great tool if you want to get free !
This workbook, to be used in conjunction with "Facing Codependency" is a fantastic tool in breaking the heavy denial that comes with codependency, taking a clear objective look at where the codependent beliefs came from (without blaming others), seeing the true impact of this disease on our lives and based on that information helps us to decide for ourselves clearly what steps to take to work towards true freedom and recovery.I appreciate that both these books encourage self-responsibility and does not just present the (yes, depressing at times) negative aspects of this devastating disease but the HOPE of what "freedom" looks like and very specifically as we work through the book what health and freedom will look like for us!Happy recovery!

Hard but Neccessary
This book takes the premise that it will root out and rid you of your denial.I am sure that is helpful, but it is very painful.I got this book because I was feeling overwhelmed with realizing how bad things had gotten in my life and was looking for help.I am more depressed than ever.This is not the place to go for hope.But, I think it is probably true that when you have stalled in your recovery or have reverted without realizing it, that it is because you have fallen into denial.And she is trying to lessen that.Probably overall key to recovery, but very difficult in the moment.I am sure that it is a neccessary piece of recovery to be balanced against other more hopeful tools. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Co-dependence (Psychology)    2. Codependency    3. Codependents    4. General    5. Neurology - General    6. Psychology    7. Recovery    8. Rehabilitation    9. Self-care, Health    10. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    11. Self-Help & Practical Interests    12. Self-Help / Codependency   

Reviews (8)

True zen!
As a "recovering alcoholic", I have had MUCH trouble within and without the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous when people find out that I am a Buddhist skeptic who does not believe in the idea of a deity called "god".As a practicioner of Zen, I am pleased to see that Mr. Ash has a solid grip of the "Zen of recovery".
This is a fantastic book
As a person with an addictive nature I cannot speak highly enough about this book - it is lovely! I want to buy copies for everyone I know - whether they are in recovery or not. As for the review saying, "any zen book can give you principles to quit drinking..."I don't think the purpose of this book was to stop ppl from drinking, but rather: to accompany ppl who may already struggle w/ a higher power w/in the twelve steps. I suspect that most ppl reconnect with themselves AFTER moving into the program and encounter obstacles along the way. For me, this book acts as a liason between the twelve steps and my internal obstacles.
Intelligent & Insightful
Mel Ash, using Zen as the spiritual component, adapts the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and zens it up. It's easy to swallow for me because the emphasis is not singularly recovery from alcoholism but also eating disorders, narcotic addiction, etc. The reading is gentle and doesn't underestimate or devalue the audience with sterile language. It gets awfully real world and how we can intermingle our recovery into our lives, which is what I wanted when I entered into recovery.
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Subjects:  1. Adult children of dysfunctiona    2. Adult children of dysfunctional families    3. Codependency    4. Religious aspects    5. Religious life    6. Self-Help    7. Spiritual    8. Substance Abuse & Addictions - General    9. Twelve-step programs    10. Zen Buddhism    11. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    12. Self-Help / General   

Reviews (1)

what a life changer
Well, I was in a reahb center when my thearapist offered for me to read this book. I put it off for a few weeks when finally I picked it up to be amazed. It is a book that will help all of those who know they are enablers, think they are enablers, or sometimes likes to help a friend out in need. It is an eye opener. I recomend this book to just about anyone, even those who use enablers for their advantage. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Neuropsychology    3. Self-Help    4. Family & Health    5. Physiological & neuro-psychology   

Reviews (27)

Not worth the money
The author gives examples that are to specific and, thus, not applicable to the general population.Also, the examples are formulated as little stories.....boring.....better to have step by step procedures. I was looking for something to help me in a work related situation and the book was totaly unhelpful.

UN-ENLIGHTNING READ
THIS BOOK READ LIKE A CHILD HAD WRITTEN IT. IT WAS OVERLY SIMPLISTIC AND SOUNDED SO CHILDISH IN ITS SOLUTIONS, I'M WONDERING IF THE AUTHOR IS A PRETEEN.
A comical book, actually!
As I was reading this book I came across some comical information.I thought I was just not understanding so I discussed it with my husband.He also agreed that some things written in this book were somewhat odd.
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Subjects:  1. Adjustment (Psychology)    2. Codependency    3. Human relations    4. Interpersonal Relations    5. Interpersonal communication    6. Interpersonal conflict    7. Invective    8. Psychology    9. Self-Help    10. Advice on careers & achieving success   

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Compulsive eaters    3. Compulsive eating    4. Eating Disorders - General    5. Family relationships    6. Health/Fitness    7. Obesity    8. Self-Help    9. Coping with eating disorders    10. Self-Help / Eating Disorders   

Reviews (4)

Must-read for COSA's
This is the best book I have read, so far.I have read most out there - but this is the first I read that wasn't geared towards understanding the addict.This one sure helped me understand, but it's a book for ME - a CO-Sex Addict. It's short, concise, and easy to understand.Some books get a bit technical for my liking.I don't want to know statistics - I want to heal!Good luck, and take care of you!Don't forget you are not alone.[...]

Love, Infidelity, and Sexual Addiction: A Codependent's Perspective
This book gives a very good insight into sexual addiction and the cause. It also covers in depth the role of the codependent.It is written in a very straightforward manner and easy to understand. A good book for anyone looking for information on sexual addition.

Good information, but a little outdated
Good healthy info here, but the information should be updated to include the internet age! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Self-Help    3. Substance Abuse & Addictions - Sexual    4. Family & Health   

Reviews (2)

Surviving, not thriving? There's hope for you..yes, you!
I bought "The Language of Letting Go" when facing major loss, thinking it was a book about handling grief. It was one of the best mistakes I ever made. I am more grateful for this single volume than for my entire library of 3,000 other books, and daily experience more benefit. Lets your spirit soar by letting you feel your feelings!
If I could only have one book throughout my life, this would be the book I would choose because it has made me feel so good!I was given this daily meditation book by a friend in 1992 and it is the first book I have everread EVERY day!No book has ever made me feel so good about being me.Theshort, daily meditations lift my spirits and let my heart soar.They havelet me enjoy being just who I am and loving it.Most of us deny our truefeelings and supress who we really are.This delightfully written bookreassures us that our feelings were designed by God and are o.k. to feel. When God gives us a feeling, it is his way of preparing us to have thatneed met.This book helps your spirit soar and helps you become the personGod intended you to be.Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Codependents    3. Devotional calendars    4. English    5. Meditation    6. Meditations    7. Prayer-books and devotions    8. Religion    9. Religious aspects    10. Self-Help    11. Religion: general   

Reviews (3)

Overcoming perfectionism: The key to balanced recovery
I am obviously struggling with the book as I reread sections to make sure I haven't missed anything! Still fighting that perfect thing.

After 56 Years, Relief!
I've spent the last 56 years engaged in critical self-talk and feeling no matter how much I did, it was never "good enough".
You Shall Overcome!
I bought this skinny little book years ago and consider it the self-help book for those of us who aren't "that" messed up. Being too hard on myself, demanding too much, had always been a vice. The times I wasn'taccomplishing enough, I always felt like I should have been. OvercomingPerfectionism book really helped point out where these feelings came from-- did you know a highly religious upbringing can be"dysfunctional" if it makes you feel bad about who you are? Ihave made a gift of this book to several people and they appreciated makingthe leap from present activites to their sources. Ann W. Smith's voice isvery positive, readable, and the book contains numerous concretesuggestions for change. It helps you see how good life can be once you showyourself the compassion you give to others and cut yourself some slack. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Co-dependence (Psychology)    2. Codependency    3. General    4. Mental Health And Hygiene    5. Neuropsychology    6. Perfectionism (Personality tra    7. Perfectionism (Personality trait)    8. Personality    9. Recovery    10. Self-Help    11. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    12. Popular psychology    13. Self-Help / Codependency   

Reviews (1)

A Book That Has Saved Many Lives
In this wonderful book, Melody Beattie provides the reader with the necessary tools to overcome the burden of codependency.Although it gives examples to help the families of alcoholics, the book stresses that anyaddiction and its effects can be overcomed if we only recognize the reasonsthe behaviors were developed in the first place.I was sexually molestedas a child and, as a result, two major consecuences appeared:I wassubconsciously trying to destroy my body and so became clinicallyoverweight, and I wanted to control those around me and make sure they didnot ruin their lives with what I viewed as the wrong choices.I did notunderstand why, if my brain knew that I should take care of my body, and ifI had dreams to lead a full, active life, I was "killing" myself. I had alienated the people I cared about, I "hated" what I hadbecome, I was totally dependent on the opinions of others, and valuedmyself by what they said.I was terribly unhappy.THIS WAS ONE OF THEBOOKS THAT SAVED MY LIFE.It made me realize that it was just fine to likemyself, to treat myself well, and to be happy.I recommend this book toeveryone who is looking for answers to the vicious circle of codependency. Buy it, apply it, and set yourself free.I certainly did. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Family relationships    3. Foreign Language Study    4. General    5. Neurology - General    6. Patients    7. Self-Help    8. Self-care, Health    9. Spanish    10. Spanish: Adult Nonfiction    11. Substance abuse    12. Self-Help / Codependency   

Subjects:  1. Clinical Psychology (Specific Aspects)    2. Co-dependence (Psychology)    3. Codependency    4. Neurology - General    5. Self-Help    6. Mind, body, spirit: mysticism & self-awareness    7. Self-Help / Codependency   

Reviews (3)

Tool for Growth
I don't think we as human beings actually recognize the power of daily reading, meditation, and reflecting.Practicing these powerful principles allows us to remain mindful of the moment and reflect upon the deeper question in our lives.To devote ourself to a daily meditation and to journal on these quiet times is priceless and will certainly aid in the evolution of our soul.For me this practice has allowed an awakening to take place and opens my life up to all the opportunities that are available in this universe.Please give this practice a try!This book will help you in your journey of living and cultivating an active consciousness in your daily life.
Great tool for healthy living . . .
This is without a doubt one of the most helpful books I've ever read.I've struggled with "codependent" behavior for years, and it wasn't until I began reading this easy-to-understand yet incredibly profound book that I've been able to start changing deep-seated unproductive patterns of behavior.I was able to let go of not one, but two, unhealthy relationships, one of which was with a person who had (and still has) a hard time moving on.Even so, with the help of some of the things I've read in this book, I am able to continue to do what is right for me, to set boundaries, regardless of whether or not it's going to hurt this individual's feelings.And the relationships I've chosen to retain have been enriched as a result of reading this book, as well.Another thing I've learned from reading this book is that the only person I am truly responsible for is myself.But this responsibility includes learning to take care of some areas of my life which I'd been neglecting.I can't say enough good things about "The Language of Letting Go."There's a lot of wisdom there, and I urge anyone who's tired of feeling like they constantly need to take care of others to read it.It will change your life.

Language of Letting go a wonderful journal
I just started using this book as a recomendation made by one of my college teachers last semester. By reading the daily pages, and journaling a little bit about each topic for each day I have been able to make some very profound discoveries about myself. It is helping me to not only better understand myself, and my situation, but it is allowing me to become more tolerant of others, and is helping me to understand that I am allowed to feel some of the emotions in which we are conditioned to discount. I would recomend this book to not only people that feel they have issues they need to work out, but to anyone that is interested in learning a little more about themselves. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Journal Writing    3. Meditation    4. Personal Growth - Happiness    5. Self-Help    6. Self-Help / Substance Abuse   

Subjects:  1. Codependency    2. Self-Help    3. Coping with personal problems    4. Popular psychology    5. Self-Help / General   

Editorial Review

Are your kids like powder kegs--and you never know when they're going to "go off?" Have you ever blown it and raged at or hit your child? In

Reviews (1)

Good information, but a distracting format
This book was useful to address problems of anger in my family.Eastman begins by helping readers understand the pattern of anger in the household, and then offers strategies to control it.Although we did not implement all of her advice, there were many useful suggestions we integrated intoour parenting, with a resulting decrease in anger and tantrums.So it wascertainly worth the time and money.My major complaint is that I foundthe organization of the book distracting.Chapters were short, averaging 7pages with lots of bullets and ideas that were not completely developed. Typically the reader was pointed to later chapters where these themes wouldbe more fully addressed.The book seemed, at times, as if it were acompendium of 28 oral presentations strung together.A more linear formwould have made the book shorter, and more efficient.However, theauthor's goal was not a complete analysis of family anger, but rather apractical guide to help families.At least this structure did help to makeclear what chapters could be skipped over as not relevant to our situation.Overall, a useful book. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Anger in children    2. Child Care/Parenting    3. Child rearing    4. Codependency    5. Family & Relationships    6. Family And Child Development    7. Parenting - Discipline    8. Parenting - General    9. Self-Help    10. Temper tantrums in children    11. Temperament    12. Child care & upbringing    13. Family & Relationships / Parenting